I Love Being a Mom but...

My post is a little random and skips around a bit but I am a bit sleep deprived and just spilled out my feelings.

Ok I do love being a mom but this single mom with no family or good friends in the area is really starting to suck. If I hear one more time how being a stay at home mom is the hardest job in the world (someone told me I actually had it easy) I am going to slap someone. Ok, I know being a stay at home mom is hard work and I envy and admire those who are fortunate enough to do it but being a single mommy who works full time is no cake walk.

I love my daughter and I love my job but between the hours of 5 to 6:30 pm I don't really like either. Because I have to work till 5 by the time I get MJ home she is a bitch (I know she is only two but come on at times she is awful) because she is so hungry. If I don't have supper on the table in 10 minutes or less, it is horrible. I have gotten pretty good at the whole process and even have appetizer some nights (like crackers and maybe even some cheese) but since starting work after a two week absence it has not been a good time. MJ is not getting as much sleep as she did on holidays and it is starting to show.

I am frustrated. I admit that. But what happened today makes me angry. On top of not having a bad start to the week with MJ, I was totally shafted by one of the girls I work with. I was talking with some of the girls about I never get to go out in my new city and how we should plan for a ladies movie night. One of the ladies said we should do a weekend brunch and matinee. I got excited and suggested this Sunday cause the ex is coming to give MJ her Christmas present and see Bride Wars. Everyone was really excited and the time worked for everyone.

So I am super pumped. So I checked into day so see if we had some firm dates and times and got some bad news... another single mommy who used to work in the office was invited along (no problem) but because she has her little boy on Sunday they changed the day to Saturday. FUCK!! I have no sitter for Saturday and this outing was using all of my entertainment budget for the month (thanks for the budgeting tips Tyler) and slightly dipped into my food budget (like $3 so I didn't feel that bad). However, I cannot afford the extra $30 to $40 for a sitter.

Needless to say I was a little pissed. I understand flexing our plans to help out another person (I am not totally selfish) but because they changed plans, I can no longer go! I am the one who suggested it. The upside is that I can splurge on groceries this week and buy bran name soup instead of no name. Lol

I realize that the week isn't going well and this doesn't make it any better. I know I am fortunate and am thankful for what I have but I can't help but wonder in my sad pity party state, when will things start to pick up. I am looking at MJ starting some activities and am looking into joining a church to meet some like people which I hope will help with the friends part.

Thanks for listening to my pathetic story. I promise next time I will drink more (or at least start drinking) before posting so it will be a little more upbeat!!

Sadly,
Moi