Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Day Three of Sick

I am sick.  I feel like I have been hit by a Mac truck and my skin is on fire sick. To make the situation even more awesome is my daughter has been sick. She got sick on Friday night and was finally good enough to go to daycare today. I took her to the doctor on Monday and she had a viral infection so bad she had viral cold soars on her mouth and down her throat.

Being sick as a single mom with no family in the same city where you live sucks.  There is no one there to help out. I do have friends I could have called to help me out but nothing is like having your mom come help out (my mom did offer to come help out but is would have been a 4 hour drive for her so I told her not to worry about it). You feel helpless. My daughter and I lay on opposite ends of the couch just being sick – it was pitiful. Hopefully I will have shaken this by tomorrow and will be on the mend.
Being sick has given me ample time to watch a lot of TV. I was able to catch up on the Biggest Loser and this season is pissing me off. I know it is the season of no excuses which is hilarious because everyone has an excuse on this season. I cannot believe what an amazing opportunity these people are throwing away. After some reflection I am pissed off at myself.  I throw away amazing opportunities everyday of lose weight and be where I want to be.  I make all kind of excuses not to exercise and to eat poorly. The thought of exercising right now makes my stomach turn and it hurts to walk to the bathroom so it may not be the best time to start an intensive exercise program. I have to figure something out, I need to stop this path of self-destruction, and I need to be the person I want to be. 

I have all the tools and resources I need to lose weight. They may not be the perfect tools but I got tools.  I also have determination to make my life better. I have let my past drag me down and determine the person I am not – a fat and lazy person – and now I want to improve my life and make me better. I don’t want to have my life determined by my excuses but rather I would like to be determined by my efforts.

Between naps today (yes, I am that sick) I will make meal plan for myself that is obtainable and easy to follow and will set up an exercise calendar that I will follow. I will not let negative energy hold me down I will continue and I will be successful.