Thursday, February 26, 2009

I Smelled a Ninja at the Dinner Table Because That's How I Roll

Pick the month you were born:
January-------I kicked
February------I loved
March--------I karate chopped
April----------I licked
May----------I jumped on
June----------I smelled
July-----------I did the Macarena With
August--------I had lunch with
September----I danced with
October-------I sang to
November-----I yelled at
December-----I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a snowman
6-------a gangster
7-------my mobile phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbour
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19------ - a Smurf
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an iPod
29-------a surfer
30-------a homeless guy
31-------a llama

What is the last number of the year you were born:
1--------- In my car
2 --------- On your car
3 ----------- In a hole
4 ----------- Under your bed
5 ----------- Riding a Motorcycle
6 --------- sliding down a hill
7 --------- in an elevator
8---------- at the dinner table
9 -------- In line at the bank
0 -------- in your bathroom

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White---------because I'm cool like that
Black---------because that's how I roll.
Pink-----------because I'm NOT crazy.
Red-----------because the voices told me to.
Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want.
Green---------because I think I need some serious help.
Purple---------because I'm AWESOME!
Gray----------because Big Bird said to and he's my leader.
Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars.
Orange--------because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway.
Brown---------because I can.
Other----------because I'm a Ninja!
None----------because I can't control myself!

Now type out the sentence you made in the commet below.

Monday, February 23, 2009

I Think I May be a Prude

Prude would never be a word that has been used to describe me. Now I would not say I am a slut but I am no stranger to sex (mind you that has been monogamous sex). I discuss sex with my girlfriends and rarely get embarrassed (some people share things that are shocking) usually have some tidbits to share myself.

I was talking to my new prospective date yesterday and became very uncomfortable with the conversation. (Keep in mind that our 'relationship' has not progressed passes the texting stage and we have not had a phone conversation yet or met face to face.) We were trading questions and answers back and forth when he asked me when the last time time I was with a guy. It was asked at the same time as another question so I just chose not to answer it hoping he would get the hint but then like five minutes later he asked about women losing their sex drive after having kids. I responded that after kids people just find themselves with less time and a lot more tired at the end of the day (I answered it rather vague and with no real personal info). He then says something like 'oh I guess you don't like sex anymore'. I let him know that that was personal information and that a relationship should be built out of the bedroom before jumping into it.

Am I that far out of touch that this should be acceptable discussion before even starting to date. Mind you I think the guy is taking our talking much more serious than I am as he has stopped all communications with all other girls where as I am not putting all my eggs in one basket (my eggs are pretty lonely but there is more than one). Still, I do not care when the last time anyone has had sex and unless it is an appropriate part of the conversation (ie they are bitching about how long it was since they had sex) I never ask.

This may seem a little funny coming from the girl who told the world wide web the last time she had sex but in my defence there is only like five people who read my blog so I think I am pretty safe there. But I am a girl who learns from her mistakes. I am not going to sleep with someone new (or old) until I know that I am going to be with this person a long time, hopefully the person I am going to marry. It is hard for me as I am not a virgin to 'save myself' but I really want to - I am special and should be treated as such. I guess I could be the 'everything but girl' but I really want my next time to be special, it will be the first person other than the ex I have been with since 2001.

I sometimes feel like I should sleep with someone just to get the ex out of my system but I am not that girl. Even if I was the only one who knew about it, I am not the random sex kind of person, never have been. I want a relationship more than I want a person I can have sex with. If worse comes to worse, and I had to chose, I chose companionship over hot sex (or really any sex). I can have sex with myself but talking to yourself all day just makes you look crazy!!

Prudishly yours,

PS I must apologize if you find the pic offensive. I captures my feelings of sex right now. I am a sexual being but a being that I have chosen to put away for a while.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Back on Track

Okay so non-smoking is going okay. I have cheated once but that is fine. I had like four drags and it was awful. It really was and the thing is it didn`t make anything better or easier. Just made me feel like a loser for cheating (at the time I am now over it). The funny thing is that my mom gave me the smoke to cheat. Both of my parents have been trying to quit. They went to the hypnotist and are not doing too bad. Well my mom had cut down a tonne and my dad has been doing spectacular. He used to be like a pack and a half smoker a day and has not smoked for a month.

So my dear father has given me the encouragement to continue. And the fat I am feeling (okay I realize it is just water retention) has given me the motivation to get back on the weight watcher wagon. I ruined today (omg do you know hash brown casserole is like 9 points a serving, even it is made with the low fat crap) but that doesn`t mean that I am throwing the day away. It is a start of a new week tomorrow and I will make the most of it. I am throwing away the rest of the hash brown casserole, way to tempting.

I do have some dating news to report. I met someone new online and he doesn`t seem to be horrible. I know I gush. I don`t want to jinx anything by saying too much but he seems really nice and considerate. Plus if I really want to know all of his details, I have a some mutual friends but I don`t think I want to do that. I think I may want to find out the details for myself.


Thursday, February 19, 2009

Not too Bad for the Second Smoke Free Day

Day two of not smoking and it is getting easier. Going cold turkey sucks (never tried to quit that way before) but smoking is gross so a bit of sucking is worth giving up the cigarettes.

Today was way easier though. Work was really busy which totally helped. I even resisted the temptation of my old smoking partner coming in for a visit tempting me with a smoke break. Even better, I went outside and watched everyone smoke with really no increase in craving (maybe because I think the craving level is about as high as it can go).

As a present to myself for quitting smoking, I am giving myself a weight watcher free week. I am still trying to eat sensibly and within reason but not counting the snacks. I had a bag of chips yesterday and I am not feeling sorry for it. I need to quit smoking more than I need to lose weight. One week of not losing is so much better if it means I won't be a smoker.

I need to go get some salsa and taco chips. Not smoking at night is harder than during the day. I will also have a big glass of water to fill up first.


PS My baby comes back tomorrow and I am super excited. I can't wait to hug and kiss her.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I Want a F&%king Smoke and I Want it NOW!!!

Okay so today is my first smoke free day. I am not a huge smoker to begin with (maybe 3 to 5 a day) which was even more reason to quit. I have quit before and do not want to be a smoker. Regardless of what my mind wants, my body wants a smoke right now. Quitting smoking is hard but I would like to proudly say that I didn't go off the deep end snaking today like I usually do when I quit.

I just want to run to the store buy a pack of smokes and have a wonderfully delicious (and disgusting) drag off of it. I actually mean run to the store - not bothering with the vehicle. Plus if I run I can walk back and smoke on the way (I could probably have like three smokes in that time). I want to but I won't. I will not subject my body to all that wonderfully awful crap anymore.

One bad thing about not smoking is that I was a tad bitchier than usual today. Thankfully my child is not here to endure my bitchiness (something I thought of before) but there were a couple of people at work who got it. Oh well, I will apologize tomorrow (or maybe next week) and blame it on the quitting as everyone lets a lot of stuff slide when people quit. I have taken the smokers dependency test on and have a low dependence on cigarettes so hopefully the bitchiness will stop soon.

Let me know if anyone has any tips or tricks for quitting smoking.


**UPDATE - I have talked myself out of going to get more smoke. It has been 22 hours why would I screw that up know. I can do this I know I can!!

Monday, February 16, 2009

Loving the Lonliness

So the minimal amount I did yesterday and the maximum amount I ate yesterday was truly disgusting. I sat on the couch, watched TV, played solitaire and ate. In my defence, I have not done that in I don't even know how long. I never have the opportunity. So I don't feel so bad.

Today is a new day and also my weigh in day. I am now 162 pounds. I probably could have been less but I have eaten like crap last week and barely exercised. Today I had a brisk 30 minute run/walk and have only eaten my peanut butter oatmeal (super yummy and only 3 points). I also have a plan, I am going to go do some brief shopping (I need to pick up a few things) and then I am going to clean the rugs in MJ's room and maybe even wash the walls.

I need to keep busy. I am missing my peanut like crazy. I will live through this.


Sunday, February 15, 2009

My Baby is Gone

It is official. I am childless for the next five days. My mother has taken my child to stay with her and Grandpa for a week. I am a weird mix of sad and excited. I really have nothing to do but could do anything I like.

For right now, I think I am going to have a nap. MJ was up early and mamma is tired.


Monday, February 9, 2009

I Am A Women With A Plan

I am not going to lie, it’s been a slow day at work. My boss actually laughs at me when I tell her I have nothing to do cause she says it’s my own fault for being so efficient. Regardless, unless I am in my pj’s I hate to waste the day away (I have tried, I am not allowed to wear my pj’s to work, but I can wear my awesome size 10, newly acquired for $6.97 Superstore dress pants!!) I decided to think of ways to help accelerate my weight loss and maybe work in quitting smoking at the same time.

I am a very goal focused person and find it hard to just do something, I need a purpose. This is why folding and putting away laundry is such a task for me, it is already clean and out of sight in the basement, why bother dragging it upstairs??

Then it came to me – running a half marathon, maybe. I thought, screw it, it is a goal I can work towards even if I have to put off the timeline. There is a half marathon that will not be that far away on May 24th, which is 15 weeks away, plenty of time to train. There is also one in the City I used to live in on May 17th, which is also doable. The training program I found is a 12 week program so I figure if I can complete that I would just re-do the last couple weeks of training and presto – run a half marathon. Now if I am fall behind on my training, there is a race in my city in September that I could always do and tonnes of 5 and 10K races in the summer to keep me motivated.

I am going to start training tonight. I am thought about doing a half marathon last year but got really sick and couldn’t run at all which hampered my training and I was nowhere near ready for it so I pussied out. This time I have a backup plan – or a backup race I should say – so that it won’t be that hard if I get sick again.

Also, I was thinking, if I can do the half in May, maybe, just maybe, I can pull of another half in September or maybe even a full. I am getting excited just thinking of all the possibilities. I don’t want to disappoint myself by not sticking to the program.

I am giving myself one more week of smoking and then next week, done like dinner. (Grandma is taking MJ next week so I figured try to quit smoking while I don’t have a toddler to annoy me is a good thing. Sidebar: I love my child more than life itself but come on. She has a weird knack for driving my up the wall!!) Plus with my angel gone I have more me time to get on track with the training. If I can’t do it without drugs, my drug plan kicks in as of April 1 and I will go back on champix which worked like a charm last time I quit smoking. See Plan A and Plan B – hard to mess up to plans.

I am not going to make a huge deal of this and I am not going to tell anyone until I am ready for the race. Well other than everyone who reads my blog but really even though I love the four people who do, its not like I am shouting it from the rooftops.


Saturday, February 7, 2009

I Got New Pants

So the ex came up for a visit today so I took full advantage and went shopping solo. As my weight loss continues my pants are starting to be too big. I have two pairs that fit and about 8 pairs that are getting to the point that they look sloppy and like I have shit my pants (not an attractive look).

I have been trying to stick to my budget so new clothes are not exactly in the cards. However, I have heard through the shopping grapevine that Superstore has everything on sale. I thought, okay, I can spend $7 on a pair of dress pants IF I can fit into a size 10. Now I know that size is just a number blah blah and I should concentrate on how I feel blah blah... whatever, I want to be a size eight and will not settle for less. So I am not about to go out and buy more size 12 pants, I refuse to. Guess what, I came home with 3 new pairs of size 10 (including a skinny leg) and a new top all for a grand total of $25 for all 4 pieces.

Oh and added bonus, I stepped on the scale on Friday morning, 162!!! Then I tried again after supper and weight 168??? Seriously, how does one fluctuate 6 pounds in one day? Craziness. That is okay, I will take the 162 and keep working on it. Hopefully by March I will be into the 150`s and just keep going from there.

I know there is a skinny (well at least not fat) person in my wanting to come out. I am trying hard to change my eating habits to mimic a skinny person and really it isn`t as hard as I have it set in my mind. Eating healthy is totally a mind set. Not saying its going to be easy, but I am determined to do it.

Determinately yours,

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

This Is It, I Think I May Vomit

Okay, so two weeks ago, I said that if my weight loss continued, I would post my weight for all the web to see. Well my weight loss has not continued as the master speed that I had hoped but I think it is time I became accountable for my fat ass.

Please keep in mind, that I have not been this skinny since before I was pregnant, which was almost three years ago... the weight I am at now is approximately the weight I was when I got pregnant. Now I am 5'3" but carry weight really well (I have been told so by medical professionals).

Now, well as of this morning, my weight is 164.5 pounds. I so want to delete this post and pretend like it never happened but I will not do that, I can't do that. Doing that will keep me fat.

I know I want to lose more weight, I need to. The problem is that my 'idea weight' is 135 which means I have 30 more pounds to go. That is a lot of weight. Even when I was working out four days a week for 2 hours of day I could barely get below 150 (mind you I ate whatever I wanted to). The upper end of my 'ideal weight' is 141 but really, that is only six pounds - which means still another 25 pounds to lose. For those keeping track, I need to lose more weight now than I have in total in my over a year of trying to lose.

I will do this. I got up to run this morning and will get up to run again tomorrow. Plus, my new Jillian Shred dvd is waiting at the post office for me (with my true blood books) and I heard they are awesome for shredding down your ass.

My main plan is to get my eating under control by pure boredom. Sort of. I plan to have a similar breakfast and lunch everyday and then have some selection items at supper. I have read a lot of other people`s menus and the most successful eat to live not live to eat. I need to change my mind set to change the size of my thighs. Plus, if I meal plan well, that means no eating out which is easier on my pocketbook (which is another thing I need to work on).

Wish me luck on my quest. I am really wanting to have lost 10 pounds by the time I go to see my sister in four weeks (realistic right) cause shopping in her city is soooo much better than here.

Honestly yours,