My Baby is Back

My baby is home!!! Grandma brought MJ home on Friday and I never thought I could make it through the week. Many times I wanted to go get her but what stopped me was the countless thank yous I got from my dad every time I called to check in on her (which was a mildly obsessive amount). He would answer the phone with multiple thank yous. It was very touching. Of course I know my parents love her but I never realized just how much they missed her. So I think that she will spend a week away from me again for the simple fact that everyone enjoyed themselves so much (with the exclusion of me).

I have talked to another single mommy friend of mine who has shared custody with her ex and who takes her daughter a week at a time frequently. She is very wise and gave me the advise to enjoy the time away by doing things you normally can't do, like trips to Walmart at 8 pm, hanging out with friends or, do I dare say, even go on a date or two.

I wish I could have enjoyed my time away from MJ a bit more but I was knocked flat on my ass with the flu. I slept 18 hours in a 24 hour period. I am still not feeling perfect (still really tired) but at least I know I am on the mend. It was a blessing MJ wasn't here for me to infect.

There has been a progress update between myself and my ex. The few conscious hours when I was sick from work to write him a goodbye letter. Now I know that may sound stupid but I needed him to know how I felt for me to start the healing process of getting over him once again. Even though I love him, I know we are not good together. I would rather have him be a great father to MJ than a shitty husband to me (cause we all know a shitty husband usually means a shitty father and a very unhappy household). What was frustrating was that I poured my heart out and he barely responded... three whole sentences, none of which actually acknowledged my feeling but rather bitched about how I didn't call him so he could talk to HIS daughter. That is a great thing, shows my that we are not meant to be - helps me move on.

I went to a fantastic wedding on Saturday that renewed my faith in love. I will find it. I deserve it. My life will work out. I know it.

Moi