Running is a weird and wonderful thing. It is the one place where I can go to get clarity – okay not really a place but just go with me on this one please. Just my thoughts, my limits and me. Even though I have music blasting, I can think and come to some conclusions in my head, work out some inner turmoil that I am feeling.
Now you may ask why I wouldn’t run everyday. Easy answer – I am lazy. That and I run first thing in the morning, which equates to getting my ass out of bed at 5 am. However, when I do run, it makes my whole day better (usually). I feel better, have more energy and can look at the world from a more positive place. (read less bitchy).
I ran this morning. I ran for 35 minutes. I wish I could have ran for longer. I have many things to work out. I will be running more tomorrow. One good thing is that if I stay conflicted, I keep running.
I have decided MJ is my child. I know what is best for her and I am not going to let others try to push me around when it comes to her – not her father, her auntie, her grandma, no one.
As much as I would love some me time, she stays with me. My sister is a darling but I don’t think I can do a two weeks away from my child. If boys don’t understand that I am a single mom and there is huge responsibilities that come along with that they can just go away. They need to understand that the number one person in my life is MJ, she comes before everything, even me.
I don’t want her spending the weekend with her dad, his girlfriend and Oscar the pug (she is staying with her grandma thank you very much). Even though he will not say if they are living together, (I believe it to be so but he says no) its not going to be a family weekend. I have not met her or her little dog (I am having Wizard of Oz Wicked Witch of the West complex right now) and until I do sleepovers are unacceptable. If I was not firm on this before, his insistence to meet my date before MJ does solidifies it.
Ok, it was only 35 minutes. Hope to update on more inner conflict resolution tomorrow.
Moi
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2 comments:
hmmmm...maybe I should take up running... sounds like it does ones soul good.... good for you...
and great decisions...you are so right about your daughter and that she is yours and its up to you on whatt you think she should be able to do. Stick to your guns!!
and thanks for the great support on my post today... I know that most of my people that read my blog are wonderful, but there are probably some that think I am a real shit...but I don't really care... it was my sister that was making comments to me through facebook...but did refer to my blogging too... I wish you could pick your sisters...sigh....
I love blogging and only write what is truthful to me and what I want to and if its something I don't want certain people to read then I don't blog it...
again thanks for the support
Oh running is wonderful. Start small and work your way up. Runners Room offers learn to run classes. It is easier to run with others, it keeps your motivation up.
Thanks for supporting me. It means so much. I love blogging too. It really helps me learn about me learn about my life.
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