I am not sure what happened this weekend. It started out really good and slid into really bad pretty quick. Now I must say my binge this weekend is nothing of binges of the past but considering I am trying hard it was discouraging. On top of it, I didn't exercise cause I was being a lazy sloth!!
Actually I know exactly what happened, I was told that my raise that I was suppose to get wasn't coming because of the poopy economy and the couple of people who keep saying they will take MJ so I can have some me time pulled out at the last weekend so my relaxing Saturday was shot to shit. I get tired of being a single mommy in a city that none of my family live in so that if I ever want to do something without MJ I have to pay someone.
Monday came and although I didn't exercise, I did eat really well. I didn't put crap into my body but was still being Eeyore about my life (oh so glum, nothing will ever be good). Like many people, I get down on myself at times. I stopped myself yesterday from eating myself into feeling worse which is a step in the right direction.
This morning, thanks to Karilynn I dragged my ass out of my warm and cozy bed at 5 am (okay, so it was more like 5:10) and got on my treadmill. I told myself, it doesn't matter if you crawl, you are doing 30 minutes. As my mind cleared and the music on my ipod picked up, I did run. As I ran I began to think, there are many things in my life I like, there are many that I don't. There are certain things in my life I can change and certain things I have no control over. I started going through my list of what I don't like about my life and I can change and I am sure it is no surprise to anyone that I came to the realization that I don't want to be fat anymore. I kept saying it and saying it and began to cry.
I want immediate results. I want to be thin now. I know that it isn't possible and I have a lot of work to do. One great thing about this choice though is that when I get stressed about what I can't change in my life, I can exercise and help get closer to my goal. Losing weight really isn't that hard, eat less and exercise more. Become accountable for what you put in your body and sweat your ass off.
Come on Biggest Loser contenders, make me work for it. This is not going to be a 3 pound weight loss month. I want that $100 prize money. I have my eye on a pair of boots that are going to look great on my sculpted calves!!!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
I Had a Break Down - Now You Are in for Some Trouble!!!
Posted by Moi at 9:20 PM
Labels: Biggest Loser 2009, bitter diatribes, chaos, diet, exercise, Optimistic
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5 comments:
That's right! I love your attitude. Usually all it takes is the willpower to get out of bed (I have a hard time with 5 in the morning, so I don't blame you). I love that you got up and did it and made those life-changing decisions. Keep up this attitude, and those sexy boots will be yours! :)
I'm glad your attitude changed for the better!
I love you girl!! I love that you are finding that fire. It's so hard to think that the results aren't happening immediately BUT imagine that i was almost 200 lbs like 9 months ago!! That is almost no time in life. You can do this and by the time January rolls around you will be hot hot hot!! You totally have it in you to win the money this month!! I'll share all my secrets with you if you promise to use them! ;o)
I am sorry life is getting to be a drag at times. Its crazy how life gets in the way of what is really important. Being happy and HEALTHY is key and I am so proud to hear you are doing what needs to be done. I too just want results quickly and its hard to get past it and I am glad that you are ready to just work. I have finally come to that realization too! I hope you have a better week!
In 2008, I felt the same thing! I didn't think I would ever see results. We are people who like quick results, and that is what those diet pills are for, fast results, but it isn't a lifestyle change! Your body will catch up and realize that you aren't going to give up and you no longer want that wieght!!Keep up the good work!! You can do it!!
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