So, one of the questions my masseuse asked me if I am angry at being a single parent. I am angry at this. She then asked if I let myself be angry. I said no. She said that maybe if I allowed myself to be angry sometimes it would help release some stress. Wow, I don't think my masseuse had any idea what she was asking me to do.
Coincidentally, my baby daddy came to visit this weekend and lets just say the visit went less than stellar. There was a lot of yelling, screaming and screaming. A lot. I kind of ripped into him for everything that has been bothering me for the last year or so. It is more than a few issues.
Not dealing in any of the faults of the baby daddy (I don't thing that is fair as he can't defend himself) I have been struggling with being a single mom. A huge struggle. Before my grandmother passed away, my parents used to help me out by taking my child for a week at a time. This has not happened for six months. Its been a long six months. I have asked said baby daddy for some help and he did not step up in the way I thought he should and for that I let him have it.
It was not pretty. Following me kicking him out of my house we continued with a text war. Although I am not sure how were are going to find common ground to meet on this time (remember lots of issues). That being said, I feel a tonne better for letting go of some of my anger. I said a couple of things this weekend that I have been holding onto for a long time. The release of it all is wonderful. The knot in my shoulder has gone away and I feel calmer. It is wonderful. How can causing conflict make me feel better? Weird.
What does everyone do to control their anger. I am thinking this is something that I need to work on.
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1 comments:
I appreciated your last few posts. I have also been dealing with some very difficult stuff that I don't feel I can discuss on here. I think the worst part is feeling like I am at the mercy of someone elses actions. Especially when they can be very dangerous and destructive. Although I only had one chile when I was a single mom - I have a little understanding of your situation. Mine, however, was much different because my husband died. Even though it was difficult, I think it is much easier than what you have to deal with. I hope your life calms down for you.
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