Did You Ever Just Get Tired of It

I would just like to say that I am on track for this week. I have been eating good, with the exception of a few minor slips, but hey I am human. I have been good with exercise, considering how crappy I was for the weeks when my daughter and I were sick how badly I sucked. I am continually trying to push myself to keep going when I am running - run for another 15, 20, 30 seconds without taking a break. (Hint: when you stop bend over and see how far your stomach hangs over, true motivation to keep you legs going.)

So I got up on Friday to do my Jillian DVD, and guess what? My DVD player would not work. Nada nothing. It kept reading loading. FUCK. This is the DVD receiver for my surround sound that I bought last September. I tried to figure out what was wrong with my machine. After some googling I found it was probably my laser in the player. I could try to clean it. If that didn't work, I would be looking at replacing the laser. When I went to go pick up the little laser disk cleaner I spoke to one of the tech guys who let me know that to replace my laser would be about $1,100 - a little less than the cost of my system three times over. Guess what didn't work, you bet the simple $10 fix. Crap!!!

I bought a new DVD player used for $35 today but I am so tired of the little things going wrong. I now have a totally useless surround sound sitting on my entertainment stand. I am by no way am throwing in the towel and giving up - fuck that shit. But come on. I sometimes feel like I am contently fighting upstream to make it and kind of wish I could catch a break. What I really would like is for the things in life that are suppose to happen, actually happen. I wish I could have gotten my yearly raise, I wish that I could count on child support (I have not received a penny since August and am seriously considering legal action), or alternative, I wish I could win big in the lottery. I wish I could buy a $35 DVD player 6 weeks before Christmas without having to worry about my Christmas present budget and how I am going to cut from that now.

What I really wish this second is my two year old would just go to sleep so I can go run out my frustrations on my treadmill. If she is not asleep in 10 minutes I am taking the portable DVD player with me to the basement and she can watch her movie there with me. I may be poor but I refuse to be fat anymore!!!