Thursday, June 25, 2009

I Am A Better Mommy Than You

Nanna, nanna, booboo! I know you are but what am I.

Okay, I really am not a better mommy but I have been thinking a lot lately about how judgemental I am. I think this all came about since everyone and their dog blogged about John and Kate Gosling the past couple of weeks. I think it is very sad that a family is breaking up. I have gone through my own family breaking up and you can not imagine the pain you feel not being able to stop something that you would do anything to stop. Just thinking about the hurt I felt two years ago brings tears to my eyes. (Please don't feel sorry for me, I am in a better place but its just not the kind of pain that easy to just walk away from.) I think it is very sad but have gotten very protective of the Gosling family because I remember that pain (or more specifically I get protective of Kate because I sympathise with her).

When someone speaks ill of Kate I get mad. Really mad. This women was trying to support a huge family. Would I have taken the path she did by making a living by putting my family on a reality tv show? Maybe? The thought of 8 kids makes my head spin never mind paying the grocery bill for that many hungry little mouths. Did she bust her husbands balls and was a domineering hag? Absolutely but it was who she was. Every family has the dominate person (in some it switches depending on the situation) and Kate was always that person. Did she in any way deserve what she got? Absolutely not!! She was trying her best and doing very well (in my opinion) before this whole fiasco. Yes she got a lot of free stuff from putting her family in the public eye but so does most celebrities.

So here I am defending this crazy lady because we share a common thread (the human experience right?) and the fact is I judge everyone! I will judge the mommy who talks on her cell phone while driving with her child in the back, I judge the mommy who smokes with her child a few feet away, the fat person with nothing but snack foods in her cart - really I judge myself.

I pick the qualities I don't like in myself and magnify them in others. I make snap judgements based on little or no facts. I guess its good I realize that about myself. What I would like is not to dislike anything about myself (part of my journey to be a happy person) and to stop with the judging.

Does any better mommy have any ideas how to stop judging people? Or maybe tell me why you judge people, because I can figure out other people's problems way easier than I can figure out my own.

Judgmentally yours,


ET @ Titus2:3-5 said...

I think you identified the key - the fact that what we judge in others are usually those things we hate in ourselves. (I really struggle with this, too.) Maybe when those thoughts come, rather than just thinking "be nice, self" we need to think "what characteristic in that person do I see in myself, and how can I change it?"

I, too, am very sad about Jon and Kate. I know that they are a Christian family, and I just keep praying that God will use their celbrity to His glory - hopefully by reconciling their marriage in teh public eye! Now wouldn't THAT be a God thing?!