Excuse Me? You Vagina is Showing

I am not too sure how many people actually read my blog but if you have been following my blog you know I have a potential date on the horizon. I should correct that statement I had a potential date on the horizon. That was until I pointed out that Mr Big Man was being a big baby! Okay so I know I am a bitch but I was being truthful.


Let me start from the beginning...


My prospective date (now to be know as Mr Man) travels a lot for his job. Eight months out of the year, he is gone for every second week, sometimes more. To be honest when I heard this I actually got excited, I love my me time and if I had a boyfriend who was gone half the time, I would get that. (Most guys say they aren't clingy but are!) Anywho, I told him the truth that his travelling wouldn't bother me as I am not that kind of girl and he said that is good as most girls get jealous.

Truthfully, it doesn't bother me. I am not the sit by the phone kinds gal. Honestly, I only miss having a boyfriend when I need boy things done (yes I know I am horrible). I do want a man in my life but don't need someone to make me whole but rather I would like someone to compliment what I already have. I know that this my lack of adoration is not what most men are looking for but I already have a number one in my life.

So Mr Man texted me today to see if I missed him. Having just suffered through a terrible two melt down, I answered back that it was hard to miss anyone when chasing after a two year old. His big boy answer, was 'ouch'. I responded 'really?' That was two hours ago and I haven't heard from him since.

Okay, I know I was a little harsh but come on!! I barely know the guy am I suppose to text my undying love to him after I haven't talked to him for an hour? (No I do not have a penis so please don't ask.) Ever since becoming a mom, and especially since being left by the ex, I have become a little hard around the edges when it comes to relying on others. I don't. I know I am the shit show and am fine with that. I am very self sufficient, which is what Mr. Man said he liked about me.

Now how do I balance. I know men want to be adored, put on a pedestal and respected above all else. I adore and put MJ on a pedestal, there is no room for a man up there with her. Yes, your relationship is suppose to come before anything else but what happens when you have to establish that relationship after your child is already here. (Yes, this is partially my fault for not following the natural order of things but there is nothing I can do know.)

I really don't want to be that girl who sits by the phone missing her boyfriend. I have been that girl and was not really happy doing it. How do I be a strong independent women who is desirable to men? I would like to have someone in my life but how do I not put my daughter first?

Now another question, I like this guy, what should do? I am not a very humble person to tuck my tail between my legs. I don't know if I should. I do believe that if something is meant to be it will be but also that if you want something you have to work for it. Fuck. Why can't life be easy.

Humbly yours,
Moi

Decisions, Decisions

Just when you think that life is good the way it is, a seemingly easy decision comes along that makes you shake your head. It seems like an easy decision on the surface, but the more you think about it the less you know what to do - and these are the easy decisions in life.

I have been trying to get MJ into this other daycare since I moved here four months ago. Not because I dislike where she is now but just somewhere with better hours. I work 8 to 5 and the daycare she is now is open 7:30 to 5:30. There are times when I need to work past 5, not a lot of times but when I need to work overtime, I need to be there.

So I get the call from the other daycare yesterday. There is a spot open for February 2nd. I went today for an interview. The new daycare is attached to a school which would make the transition into school simple. The hours are better - they are open 7 to 6, an extra hour a day which would be huge when I need it. Now the downside - it is $70 more per month. For a single mom who is not currently receiving child support that is a lot of money.

When I went to pick up MJ from her current daycare after work I spoke to her main daycare provider and found out that I need to give a full months notice - that would be the earliest I could get out (unless there is someone to take my spot) would be March 1st.

Now MJ really loves the daycare she is in now. I am not too worried about the transition cause she adapts well to new situations. But I am torn what to do. I have changed so much in her life in a short time, should I do it again? Please, if anyone has any kind of advice, please let me know.

Moi