Excuse Me? You Vagina is Showing

I am not too sure how many people actually read my blog but if you have been following my blog you know I have a potential date on the horizon. I should correct that statement I had a potential date on the horizon. That was until I pointed out that Mr Big Man was being a big baby! Okay so I know I am a bitch but I was being truthful.


Let me start from the beginning...


My prospective date (now to be know as Mr Man) travels a lot for his job. Eight months out of the year, he is gone for every second week, sometimes more. To be honest when I heard this I actually got excited, I love my me time and if I had a boyfriend who was gone half the time, I would get that. (Most guys say they aren't clingy but are!) Anywho, I told him the truth that his travelling wouldn't bother me as I am not that kind of girl and he said that is good as most girls get jealous.

Truthfully, it doesn't bother me. I am not the sit by the phone kinds gal. Honestly, I only miss having a boyfriend when I need boy things done (yes I know I am horrible). I do want a man in my life but don't need someone to make me whole but rather I would like someone to compliment what I already have. I know that this my lack of adoration is not what most men are looking for but I already have a number one in my life.

So Mr Man texted me today to see if I missed him. Having just suffered through a terrible two melt down, I answered back that it was hard to miss anyone when chasing after a two year old. His big boy answer, was 'ouch'. I responded 'really?' That was two hours ago and I haven't heard from him since.

Okay, I know I was a little harsh but come on!! I barely know the guy am I suppose to text my undying love to him after I haven't talked to him for an hour? (No I do not have a penis so please don't ask.) Ever since becoming a mom, and especially since being left by the ex, I have become a little hard around the edges when it comes to relying on others. I don't. I know I am the shit show and am fine with that. I am very self sufficient, which is what Mr. Man said he liked about me.

Now how do I balance. I know men want to be adored, put on a pedestal and respected above all else. I adore and put MJ on a pedestal, there is no room for a man up there with her. Yes, your relationship is suppose to come before anything else but what happens when you have to establish that relationship after your child is already here. (Yes, this is partially my fault for not following the natural order of things but there is nothing I can do know.)

I really don't want to be that girl who sits by the phone missing her boyfriend. I have been that girl and was not really happy doing it. How do I be a strong independent women who is desirable to men? I would like to have someone in my life but how do I not put my daughter first?

Now another question, I like this guy, what should do? I am not a very humble person to tuck my tail between my legs. I don't know if I should. I do believe that if something is meant to be it will be but also that if you want something you have to work for it. Fuck. Why can't life be easy.

Humbly yours,
Moi

PMS'ing Over!!

Ok, so Monday was a great/bad day. I was all emotional and bitchy starting on Friday and couldn't figure out why. Then bingo - i got my period on Monday!! See when you don't have sex (pitiful) you don't worry about when your period comes and goes. Realistically, if I don't get my period, hold onto your horses sweethearts the second coming is hear and God will take care of me!! lol

Life always looks better when PMS is over. Not since high school have I PMS'ed this bad. Everything pissed me off. So it didn't help when the ex showed up at 1 pm - yes, that means he didn't show up 'sometime in the morning' as promised. I realize now that it wasn't so bad. I still got all my shopping done and he helped with housework!!!! I came home to have folded laundry and a cleaned out dishwasher. I know this may not seem like much to you but on Sunday (PMS max day) I was so happy I cried. I don't mean like eyes brimming with tears, I mean full on sobbing, snot running down my face bawling. I was pitiful.

Not that Monday was a fabulous day by any means. Not only did aunt flow come to visit but I was sick - horrible retching sick. Second time with the flu this year (well this flu year anyway). So I dropped MJ off at daycare (hey I am not stupid, I will put up with the pain of leaving the house in -35 weather so that someone else can care for my child when I am sick) and went home to bed. I got a hot water bottle for my tummy and a cold cloth for my head, some Advil for the cramps and went to bed. Well laid on the couch and watched Zohan (funny shit). Not a productive day but a I was glad to get everything over with at once.

It is now Tuesday and all is right with the world. Well not perfect but a lot better. It is amazing that the loss of some blood and vomit will do the body good.

Moi