I was reading all the updates on facebook when I came across this story about my sister-in-law twice removed. (We were both married to brothers who neither of us our with anymore.) I will let you read the story so you can form an unbiased opinion of the situation and then I will tell you my reaction.
(First you should know my ex-sister-in-law works three jobs and gets little to no financial support from her ex-husband. She is always mentioning to me how broke she is.)
So here I am not in the Christmas spirit, and had decided that I wasn't celebrating Christmas this year. Earlier this week, Kathy (my awesome Daycare lady), asked how my preparations for Christmas was coming. I said " I'm not doing Christmas this year cus I can't really afford it, and Chloë is young enough that she's not going to realize that she has missed one with me, and She has Grama's and Grampa's and Aunts and Uncles who are getting her things so she's not going to know if I don't get her anything."
So here is Friday and I'm not having a good day at work cus of supposed to be doing one thing but doing another (which i don't mind cus I"m helping out), and realize that i need to stay about 2 hours extra. So I call Darian and tell him he has to pic up Chloë from daycare, Call Kathy and tell her that I'm working late and that Darian will pick her up. A few minutes later Jim (my big boss) calls and tells me that I can't work late tonight that i have to go home. So I make sure ppl know what their doing and go. WELL Traffic was insane today, it took me about 45 mins to get from the airport to daycare, which normally takes me 7 mins.
When i get to daycare Nicole (my mini boss) is there (cus her kids go to daycare there too), and that's not out of the ordinary. But then Kathy asks me if I needed help this Christmas, and I say no I"m okay, I don't need the help, but thank you for the offer. She asked again. And I say no thank you. well she looks at me, and with that angry mom voice (which is kinda scary) Said "well too bad", and Jim (the big boss man) comes out of the kitchen and then I saw all the presents sitting on the table. Kathy said they were all for Chloë and me, and that at her jam last night had raised money for me, and that a lot of ppl donated gifts, and food, and gift cards for food, and I was crying and so was everyone else. (here I go crying again while writing this)
I just can't believe that she did all that in like 3 day's. Thank you everyone who helped out, all the little Elves who did the behind the scene things.Thank you Jim and Nicole for being awesome bosses, and being great to work for.And Thank you Kathy, for doing this for me and Chloë, and staying up till 4 am to wrap presents, and for being an amazing woman. Had you asked me to help out for someone else in need I totally would have. But I would have never expected something like this for me. *HUGS and Luvs*Merry Christmas everyone.
Okay, so my first thought is, why the fuck would you cancel your Christmas with a child who is not even two because you can't buy presents? I am grateful that my ex-sister-in-law got some needed relief at a stressful time in the year but please, are you trying to teach your child to worship store bought gifts??
For MJ, since I realize how much crap she is going to get from everyone, is not getting a Christmas present for me. I have bought her a Santa present but that is only cause we will be spending Christmas with my nephew who will notice if Santa doesn't bring MJ one. I bought her a couple of necessities (read underwear, toothpaste and a couple of snakes foods she likes) for her stalking and that is it. I also know not to expect anything from MJ for Christmas except for hug, kisses and a tantrum over not getting enough cookies.
For actual Christmas celebrations, we have made Christmas type crafts, baked cookies, and I am trying to teach her about the story of Jesus being born in a manger. (If anyone has help on the last one please let me know. Maybe I need to take her to a farm.) I stress to her what we are GIVING for Christmas and have told her repeatedly the only thing to EXPECT for Christmas is to spend time with family.
Am I wrong here... Do you cancel Christmas because you can't afford the presents?? Am I wrong in my Grinch like feelings? What does everyone out there think?
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2 comments:
In my opinion, it's not possible to "cancel" Christmas. Christmas is. Christ is. He was born and we celebrate it. Whether we give one another gifts as part of that celebration doesn't make or break it. But if faith isn't part of her life, sadly, the only thing she understands Christmas to be is a big fat day full of presents.
If someone really finds the gift part important, though, it is not difficult to please young children with things you find at the dollar store. (We did shoeboxes this year for Operation Christmas Child and each one cost about $20 to fill to the brim.)
Your feelings are understandable, but not necessarily "right." :) Maybe you can help remind her of the true meaning of Christmas by being thrilled for how she has been blessed. And perhaps using the word "blessed" or somesuchthing when you talk to her. (wink, wink)
Can I just say, I absolutely LOVE hearing about the things you will be teaching MJ about Christmas! You are such a wonderful Mom!
Thanks Tyler.
I think it is all the commercialism that makes me upset this time of year and all my feeling landed on the one story I heard. Its also cause our situations are so similar and I would never, ever, never consider presents the main part of Christmas. The joy of my daughter is better than any present you could give me (mind you a trip to somewhere hot this winter would be a close second).
I am thankful that my sister-in-law is so blessed but when people don't get that Christmas is about Christ I kind of want to want to shake them (yes I know not very Christian of me, a fault I need to work on).
When I hear of how materialistic children have become it makes me think hard about how I want to raise my child. I want my child to be grateful, not greedy - a hard task in this day and time. Is it bad I think I am being selfish by trying to raise my child not to be selfish?? LOL
I know I am a rookie mommy compared to you but I think of you often when making parenting decisions. I try to raise MJ like she is not a single child cause I know how selfish they can become. Thanks for the compliment though. Let's just say I am 1/5th of the mommy you are!!
Moi
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