Not Having the Best Day

So I have been sucking this competition so far. I haven't been watching what I eat closely enough and definitely have not been exercising enough. The irony of that, I yelled at my baby daddy for not putting in enough of an effort (umm, maybe that conversation is one I should be having with myself). So I watched the Biggest Loser premier on the weekend and got inspired, I planned my menu, made my soup lunch and planned for a super week. Heck, I even put a hold on the Eat Clean Living book and it came in and I planned to pick it up on Monday night.

Then my world came falling down. My babba is in the hospital in ICU and her kidneys are shutting down. (She is 84 so health problems are to be expected but she was not really that sick until now.) The doctors are not too sure what is wrong with her. There is a mass in her bowels that maybe cancer. They are doing tests and have her on morphine for the time being. I found out Sunday she was in the hospital, Monday I was thinking I should make the drive (four hours home) and today I finally came. I feel horrible because they gave her medication this morning because her kidneys were shutting down and the medication knocks her out. This means that if I would have came back yesterday, I could have actually talked to her and told her how much I love her and how I know in my heart she is going to be okay. I did tell her those things today when I saw her but I couldn't see that twinkle that is always in her eyes.

So I am not having the best day and since I am an emotional eater I gave in today. I ate really bad (even McCrappies). Today is a new day and I am going to enjoy it to its fullest. I am going to make choices that help my chances of being around so that I to can enjoy my great grandchildren for a long time.

I do have to apologize for not posting on anyone else blog lately. I will soon. I need to concentrate on me for right now but give me a couple of days and I will be encouraging everyone to my fullest!!!