Tuesday, January 3, 2012

I am Baaaaack

New year and tones of changes.

It has been a while since I have blogged.  I missed it and all of you tremendously.  I have been going through my own struggles and needed to not air the very hateful and horrible things was thinking. Those aren't things that should be shared.  For those keeping track, the split up was final and it was horrible.  I have taken it extremely well (not only by my own opinion but others have told me that as well) and am at an okay place in my life.  Not the best place but a place where I can see unlimited possibilities on the horizon.

It has been over four months since I last wrote and  over those months I have not been taking very good care of myself.  I have indulged because I felt I deserved it and stop exercising because it was easier to hit the snooze button than drag myself out of bed.  I made excuse and excuse to justify what I was doing to myself and in doing so I but on 15 extra pounds. I look and feel disgusting.  I have stopped that abuse of myself and have begun to take care of myself. I have stopped saying tomorrow and begun today to eat healthy.

Tomorrow (and I do mean tomorrow) starts the 30 Day Shred. If I don't get up in the morning it will get done when I get home from work, if that doesn't work then I will do it before I go to bed. It will happen. It has to start to happen.  I can't buy bigger pants - I refuse to buy bigger pants.

Another reason I am not buying bigger pants is because I am going to try and curb my spending. It is ridiculous the amount of money I spend on useless thing.  I am no longer going to spend money to fill the whole in my life, instead I am going to keep that money in my bank and fill that whole with loved and new fabulous experiences. I spend New Years day watching the Gail Vaz-Oxlade show Princess, where girls throw their (and other people's money) away on crap to make themselves feel better about themselves. Whiles I don't spend $600 a month on my hair I am a shopaholic and need to find a better way to make myself feel better.

Bad thing about being gone for so long is I feel there is so much to catch up on but its time to say good night.  This princess needs to get to bed - I have an early morning date with Jillian!!!


Spar-Mar Girl said...

Welcome back! I've been thinking about you the past month or so. Sounds like the past few months have been pretty rough. What a great time to get rid of last year and start this year with the right focus! Keep up the awesome intensity and know it gets easier to remember that you're worth with each workout!