I feel numb and empty and do not know what to do. Last night my fiancée told me is unsure if he wants to marry me and thinks he may be happier if we were apart. I felt like I was slapped upside the head with a brick. He says he doesn’t know what he really wants.
There is 26 days until the wedding. Or at least 26 days until we were suppose to be married.
Right now I should really be working but I just feel like crawling in a hole. I don’t know who to talk to because I am hoping that this is just a phase (a very short one) and will pass. I don’t want anyone thinking of him badly. I know there are not a lot of my family or friends who read this so I am writing to stranger in hopes they can offer some kind of help.
We had a couple of minor arguments the past couple of weeks but nothing bad. On Friday, while I was at my parents, he went to visit friends. Because of his past tendencies of taking off for the weekend I was a little upset that he didn’t tell me he was going but I didn’t have a problem with it as we were not home anyway. Well we were supposed to meet the next day and he was going to take the kid and the dog with him but he wouldn’t answer his phone. He didn’t come home until yesterday.
I was pissed. I told him so.
He said he didn’t even want to come home.
I told him if he doesn’t want to be with me to pack up and leave.
It was bad.
We had a long discussion later and he told me is mad all the time and not happy. I called bullshit because I know his daughter and me make him happy. He said he doesn’t know what to think. I gave him until Friday to decide what to do. If he decides he does not want to be with me, I gave him until the end of the month to get out of the house.
He was awake most of the night and didn’t go to work today. I told him to think of going to the doctor to maybe get a prescription for depression. Last year I was on anti-depressants for a while and it helped me. Depression and mental illness run in his family and I told him to at least go get the prescription and then decide later if he wants to take it. He said he would think about it which means he probably won’t do it.
I don’t know what to do and hate the feeling of having my fate in someone else’s hands. I don’t want any of this to happen. I am suppose to be celebrating our love by planning our wedding not thinking about splitting assets and getting an attorney.
I feel so lost and alone.
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5 comments:
Wow, brick it is. What a hard, hard thing to have to deal with. Better now than later, on the upside. Get the 'kinks' worked out before you commit for life. From experience, those habits and hangups that drive you bonkers now will only make you resent him later. Be patient and wait this out. :)
Wow. I am so sorry. I can't even imagine the stress and turmoil you feel right now. I think you're doing a good job in suggesting he talks to someone or gets on some medication. Hopefully he'll be in a place to accept it. I know it made a world of difference for me for a while. I agree with the previous comment too, better now then later. I'm sending lots of hugs your way!!!! Good luck figuring things out.
I can only imagine the pain you feel right now.I don't have any great words of wisdom other than to just remember what you can control and that in your heart of hearts you know you'd rather be with someone who is 100% sure they want to be with you. You're deserve to not have to worry for the rest of your life if your partner really wants to be there. Hang in there and know either way his answer is what is best for you.
wow, sounds like way more than one brick, sounds like it was a whole ton of em! so sorry you are going through this... i wish I had some great words of advice, and I know just how much it sucks to hear 'it's better to find out now than after you've wasted years' but it doesn't make it hurt any less, or make this process any easier. I truly hope he does what you've talked about and talks to someone, it really can make a huge difference, and I hope both of you find your way through this and come out stronger in the end.
Oh, friend, I am so sorry to hear this. I had hoped and prayed - for your sake and the little darling's - that he had changed. Sadly, it sounds like Danny is stuck. Stuck being afraid, stuck being immature, stuck being selfish. Even sadder, he will one day grow up and be devestated about what he gave up.
I don't want to give any 'pat answers' or cliches, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't tell you that you are not alone. There is a Friend (a Husband) who loves you unconditionally. And He's been calling you and waiting for you to find Him for a long, long time. Just two days from now, you can walk yourself and your little angel into a building full of people who know that Friend and will help you get to know Him.
My heart is broken for you and I am praying that you will find the God of Comfort. Love you...
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