Unexpected Kick in the Ass

Last week I experienced an unexpected and uplifting kick in the ass. About a month ago I received a less than stellar performance review at work. I have approximately three direct supervisors at work but the big boss must sign off on all reviews. Without getting into too many details, I did not receive the outcome I thought I deserved and voiced my option on it. I felt the system was unfair as top marks were frowned upon (you can always do better) and that others in my company did not put in the effort or commitment I do and received more favorable reviews. I was so displeased that my review was not amended that I began to search out other employment opportunities.


Well, one of my supervisors (who did not take part in the review) sat me down to talk about my work and my displeasure in my performance review. (Side note: this boss is a very powerful and feared man. He is smart, well educated and I respect him immensely.) He told me point blank that I should not compare myself to anyone else, and that the reason I did not receive a high scoring was due to my own performance. He went on to say that even though I do outperform most of my coworkers, compared to what he knows that I can accomplish, I have been lagging. He told me that he believes I can do anything I set my mind to and that I need to decide exactly what I want to do. Basically my performance does not meet the high expectations I have set for myself due to previous performances. He did not mean it as an insult but as a compliment. (Trust me if he wasn’t happy with my performance I would not be working where I am.)

I took what he said to heart. I have not been living up to my potential. At times in life I just float through. I do the bare minimum to get by and do not give it all that I have. This is true about many things. I don’t know why I do it but I do. It is one of my character flaws I guess. Maybe it comes from knowing that everything can’t be perfect all the time so I let it slide, problem is that too many things are sliding. I need to prioritize more effectively. My life will not become detrimentally worse if I do not watch Teen Mom 2 or eat whatever I want; it will however get worse if I continue to let my weight climb or let my finance run out of control.

I commit from this point forward to do more for my family and me and less for the little things. If it doesn’t help us, then I don’t need to participate.