Unexpected Kick in the Ass

Last week I experienced an unexpected and uplifting kick in the ass. About a month ago I received a less than stellar performance review at work. I have approximately three direct supervisors at work but the big boss must sign off on all reviews. Without getting into too many details, I did not receive the outcome I thought I deserved and voiced my option on it. I felt the system was unfair as top marks were frowned upon (you can always do better) and that others in my company did not put in the effort or commitment I do and received more favorable reviews. I was so displeased that my review was not amended that I began to search out other employment opportunities.


Well, one of my supervisors (who did not take part in the review) sat me down to talk about my work and my displeasure in my performance review. (Side note: this boss is a very powerful and feared man. He is smart, well educated and I respect him immensely.) He told me point blank that I should not compare myself to anyone else, and that the reason I did not receive a high scoring was due to my own performance. He went on to say that even though I do outperform most of my coworkers, compared to what he knows that I can accomplish, I have been lagging. He told me that he believes I can do anything I set my mind to and that I need to decide exactly what I want to do. Basically my performance does not meet the high expectations I have set for myself due to previous performances. He did not mean it as an insult but as a compliment. (Trust me if he wasn’t happy with my performance I would not be working where I am.)

I took what he said to heart. I have not been living up to my potential. At times in life I just float through. I do the bare minimum to get by and do not give it all that I have. This is true about many things. I don’t know why I do it but I do. It is one of my character flaws I guess. Maybe it comes from knowing that everything can’t be perfect all the time so I let it slide, problem is that too many things are sliding. I need to prioritize more effectively. My life will not become detrimentally worse if I do not watch Teen Mom 2 or eat whatever I want; it will however get worse if I continue to let my weight climb or let my finance run out of control.

I commit from this point forward to do more for my family and me and less for the little things. If it doesn’t help us, then I don’t need to participate.

2011 Goals

A lot of blogger have been putting down their goals for the new year.  I have read a few lists that have inspired me. I was truly inspired by Mindy's post and did a lot of nodding when I was reading it. 

Here are my goals for 2011


I will reconnect with God.  This has been on my mind a lot lately.  Honestly, I don't really know where to start.  I would really like to join a church but don't know how to do that.  If anyone can help me or give me reassurances on this front I would appreciate it.

I will be a more patient mom.  My child is my world but I need to learn to enjoy her more and learn that everything doesn't always have to be perfect.

I will work on my relationship with my boyfriend and hopefully make him my husband this year.  One of the stipulation of getting back together was that we will go into counselling to help us become a better couple and to get married.

I will extend my friends network.  I have become an introvert somehow.  I need to expand my social network beyond befriending new people on facebook.

I will run three 10k races and at least one half marathon.  I have a heavy course load and a big commitment in the fall so I am keeping this goal smaller than I would like.

I will lose 50 pounds.  I have a menu plan set out and am working on a workout schedule.  I will keep my commitment to stay on track.  I will post my menu plan in a couple of days.

I will work hard towards obtaining my masters in human resources.  No more slacking cause it is easy.  I don't mean to brag but I am pretty good at scholastic (read, I am a geek) and sometimes rest on my laurels.  If I actually apply myself I learn more and want to do better.

I will make a budget that pays down debt and increases savings.  I acknowledge that I probably will not get out of debt this year due to going back to school but I would love to be more secure and not live off credit for the last week of the month.

I would love to hear your feedback and/or suggestions. 

Merry Christmas to All

I know many of you have been wondering... so just to set your mind at ease let me be the first to tell you that I'm still alive!

I will start off with a major announcement. My ex and I are officially back together. We have decided that we are working our problems out and staying together as a family. This makes me very happy and regardless of what some people think, this not the easy pick. I do love him with all my heart and we have both done some serious growing up in the last three year and we are committed to stay together for the long term. There are talks of an impending engagement and a wedding soon to follow. If that can go off without a hitch, more babies to follow shortly thereafter. We have been working thing out for a while now but wanted to make sure everything was on the right track before making the announcement. Our daughter is ecstatic to have us together, which made the decision that much easier to make.

I have also added two furry friends to my family. I have a wonderful little rag doll kitten named Charlotte

and a wonderful beagle named Bella.

Please do not be fooled.  The only reason that they are sleeping in the pictures is that I am unable to snap a shot of them when they are awake as they are always on the go.  We adopted the kitten purposefully and the dog was destine to call my house home (an unplanned blessing one may say).

It has been an adjustment in my home having all the new additions in short order but it is wonderful. I am enjoying life, even when it is hard and it gets me down. I catch myself smiling more times than not just at all the laughter and joy in my home.

My weight has snuck back up on me and my finances are a bit of a mess at the moment but those are projects I have plans to tackle in the New Year. For the rest of 2010 I plan to enjoy and rejoice in what I have – lots of love.

I promise to blog more in 2011 but until then I wish everyone a happy and joyous Christmas season. I sincerely wish that this season is a time of miracles for you and your loved ones, with days filled with love and cheer.

Christmas is not a time or a season but a state of mind. To cherish peace and good will, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. If we think on these things, there will be born in us a Savior and over us will shine a star sending its gleam of hope to the world."


~ Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933), American president. Presidential message (December 25, 1927).

Bad Day - a handful equals a handful

It's a bad day.  All I want to do is grab a handful of something bad and delicious to snap me out of this.  You know what is holding me back?

This handful.

Wowzers

Almost a week since I have ran my half marathon and I have not done any exercise or watched what I eat.  That ends today.  Time to get back on track.

I got my student card yesterday which entitles me to a free gym membership.  I am going to take full advantage of that fact. 

Back on track, back on track.  Get this sh*t done.  Next time I run a half marathon I will be lighter and faster.  Trust me.