Okay that's Enough of That

So it has been a pretty hard week for me.  My finance had to go tend to his dad who is sick and I was single parenting again.  It wasn't so bad but I miss the adult company more than the parenting help. On top of that one of our vehicles is still in the shop getting repaired and I got the wonderful news the front struts are leaking which essentially means an extra $2,000 to fix.  Oh and then our TV quit working.  The power supply in my specific TV has been know to come loose.  It is about a $500 fix or just slightly more to buy a new one. 

I was having a bit of a pity party for myself until I came to the realization it could be worse. No one is dying, no one is in pain, we are doing just fine. The events of a few days are not meant to punish me for something I did, it is just a course of events I have no control over. It is just life - with its ups and downs.

What I can control is me. I am tired of blaming everything on my inability to take off the pounds. It is my fault, no one else.  Yes, sometimes circumstances are presented but it is how I react to those circumstances that determines what the scale says.  With my new mindset I put in a Jillian workout dvd last night after kiddlet was put to bed. Now I only got through half of it before I gave up (between the countless 'moooooommmmmy!!!!' calling and the animals who wouldn't leave me alone) but what matters is that tonight I will try again and hopefully get thought the whole thing.  Tomorrow we will go on a bike ride with the dog before going to the pool.   I need to start getting more exercise in my life.  Not to mention I have signed up for a half marathon and have no trained - not even a little bit.

I may only have 50 days to my wedding (yikes) but I can still lose some inches and tone my arms till then.  I have time and it can be done.  No I won't be my goal weight by then, but I will be on my way!!!!

Need to get back on track

I need to get back on track so bad.  I can't get out of this funk.  OMG  sooo hard.

Feeling Defeated

I need to get on track.  I need to not defeat myself.  I need to get it together.

A huge fault of mine is that I let time slip away.  I will to it tomorrow, next week, who cares when as long as its not now.  This is a bad quality in me.

I leave tomorrow for a short vacation which will involve a bathing suit.  Not looking forward to baring all on the beach. Not much I can do about this weekend but I will be taking a week in August to spend at the beach and I can do something about looking better then. 

Ever Feel Like A Failure

Did you ever just have a poor pity me day? Today was that day for me. (Funny cause Tuesday was my birthday and it was a fabulous day.) There is way too much going on in my life and I feel I am not succeeding at any thing.

I am a person who like to win, who needs those successes in my life.  When I don't succeed, I truly take it personally.  I am not superwomen but yet hold myself to those superwomen ideals. I have come to the realization that I need to let some things go. By letting this go I will be able to focus on what is really important to me in the short term.

First I am going to start running.  I really miss it - the freedom, the ability to sleep and the me time. I am not going to start next Monday or when the weather get better.  I am starting tomorrow.

Also tomorrow, I am dropping my master class. It came way to quick and I am no where ready for it. Thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach.  Thinking about postponing the class makes me happy.  I am all about making me happy.

Our beautiful dog will be finding a new home.  I am in the process of finding her one. I am not in a rush to give her away but I am looking.  I went to one house tonight but I am unsure about the location (it is in a bad neighbourhood).  There is hope of finding her a home on an acreage with another dog.  Cross your fingers for me, I am hoping that will be her new forever home.

I need to concentrate on wedding planning. I feel like I have just let it go and it is coming quick. 

Tomorrow I am going to step on the scale for the first time in a week.  It is a scary prospect.  I have been trying to eat well but don't think I have always been successful at it.  Back on track tomorrow and food tracking. I am also going to looking into the options for my health care flex spending account to see what I can access. 

Happy Father's Day to All

Happy father's day to all the wonderful father's and mommydaddy's out there. 

I am a bit behind on the blogging front.  It has been a crazy busy week but I am trying to stay on track.  There have been a couple of bad eating days but have been staying on track.  I just need to add some exercise to the mix and I will be rocking. 

Hope everyone is having a fabulous day and has not be drown out by the rain or eaten by mosquitoes.