I Am A Women With A Plan

I am not going to lie, it’s been a slow day at work. My boss actually laughs at me when I tell her I have nothing to do cause she says it’s my own fault for being so efficient. Regardless, unless I am in my pj’s I hate to waste the day away (I have tried, I am not allowed to wear my pj’s to work, but I can wear my awesome size 10, newly acquired for $6.97 Superstore dress pants!!) I decided to think of ways to help accelerate my weight loss and maybe work in quitting smoking at the same time.

I am a very goal focused person and find it hard to just do something, I need a purpose. This is why folding and putting away laundry is such a task for me, it is already clean and out of sight in the basement, why bother dragging it upstairs??

Then it came to me – running a half marathon, maybe. I thought, screw it, it is a goal I can work towards even if I have to put off the timeline. There is a half marathon that will not be that far away on May 24th, which is 15 weeks away, plenty of time to train. There is also one in the City I used to live in on May 17th, which is also doable. The training program I found is a 12 week program so I figure if I can complete that I would just re-do the last couple weeks of training and presto – run a half marathon. Now if I am fall behind on my training, there is a race in my city in September that I could always do and tonnes of 5 and 10K races in the summer to keep me motivated.

I am going to start training tonight. I am thought about doing a half marathon last year but got really sick and couldn’t run at all which hampered my training and I was nowhere near ready for it so I pussied out. This time I have a backup plan – or a backup race I should say – so that it won’t be that hard if I get sick again.

Also, I was thinking, if I can do the half in May, maybe, just maybe, I can pull of another half in September or maybe even a full. I am getting excited just thinking of all the possibilities. I don’t want to disappoint myself by not sticking to the program.

I am giving myself one more week of smoking and then next week, done like dinner. (Grandma is taking MJ next week so I figured try to quit smoking while I don’t have a toddler to annoy me is a good thing. Sidebar: I love my child more than life itself but come on. She has a weird knack for driving my up the wall!!) Plus with my angel gone I have more me time to get on track with the training. If I can’t do it without drugs, my drug plan kicks in as of April 1 and I will go back on champix which worked like a charm last time I quit smoking. See Plan A and Plan B – hard to mess up to plans.

I am not going to make a huge deal of this and I am not going to tell anyone until I am ready for the race. Well other than everyone who reads my blog but really even though I love the four people who do, its not like I am shouting it from the rooftops.

Moi

Running is a weird and wonderful thing. It is the one place where I can go to get clarity – okay not really a place but just go with me on this one please. Just my thoughts, my limits and me. Even though I have music blasting, I can think and come to some conclusions in my head, work out some inner turmoil that I am feeling.

Now you may ask why I wouldn’t run everyday. Easy answer – I am lazy. That and I run first thing in the morning, which equates to getting my ass out of bed at 5 am. However, when I do run, it makes my whole day better (usually). I feel better, have more energy and can look at the world from a more positive place. (read less bitchy).

I ran this morning. I ran for 35 minutes. I wish I could have ran for longer. I have many things to work out. I will be running more tomorrow. One good thing is that if I stay conflicted, I keep running.

I have decided MJ is my child. I know what is best for her and I am not going to let others try to push me around when it comes to her – not her father, her auntie, her grandma, no one.
As much as I would love some me time, she stays with me. My sister is a darling but I don’t think I can do a two weeks away from my child. If boys don’t understand that I am a single mom and there is huge responsibilities that come along with that they can just go away. They need to understand that the number one person in my life is MJ, she comes before everything, even me.

I don’t want her spending the weekend with her dad, his girlfriend and Oscar the pug (she is staying with her grandma thank you very much). Even though he will not say if they are living together, (I believe it to be so but he says no) its not going to be a family weekend. I have not met her or her little dog (I am having Wizard of Oz Wicked Witch of the West complex right now) and until I do sleepovers are unacceptable. If I was not firm on this before, his insistence to meet my date before MJ does solidifies it.

Ok, it was only 35 minutes. Hope to update on more inner conflict resolution tomorrow.

Moi